Living Forgiveness

Ephesians 4:25-5:2

Pentecost 12, August 11, 2024

Holy Trinity Cathedral

“Living Forgiveness”

Have you watched any events in the Olympics in the past two weeks?  I have been humbled by athletes who test the boundaries of human endurance in order to reach the pinnacle of their sport.  They have trained every day for years, building up strength and courage.  They have failed and tried again and somehow qualified for the world to watch and cheer them on.  Their moment on stage at this world gathering is an important moment, but it is not going to be the only marker of their careers, even if they bring home a medal.  One event does not define a lifetime.  That’s a good thing, or most of those athletes would give up after today.   I don’t know of anybody here who is training for the Olympics, but we are all training for the kingdom.  Every day we have to practice the way of following Christ.  And although forgiveness feels like an Olympic event that only a few saints can manage, God gives us grace.  We learn over our lifetimes how it is possible to forgive God, each other, and ourselves.  

It's not easy, at least not in the times when we are wounded deeply by another.  But if we have experienced and received the absolution of our own wrongs, there is more room for that grace to be extended.  As Chuck Girard relates,

“We can love them and forgive them when their sin does not exceed our own for we too have been down bumpy roads before.  But when they commit offenses outside the boundaries we have set, we judge them with a word and we turn them out, and we close the door.  Myself, I’ve been forgiven for so many awful things, I’ve been cleansed and washed and bathed so many times that when I see a brother who has fallen from the way, I just can’t find the licence to convict him of his crimes.”

Maybe this is why King David can find it in his heart to forgive his son Absalom.  David has done so many horrible deeds, has repented, and found that God is willing to welcome him back.  Now, when his own child rebels against the throne and leads a rebel army against the king’s men in civil war, David still has a tender spot for him.  “Deal gently with him” he pleads his commanders before the battle.  And when word is brought to him of Absalom’s gruesome death, he reacts not as the king who has gotten rid of an usurper, but as the parent who has lost his child.  David, who himself has been forgiven for so many sins, grieves his son and his own actions that have led to this tragedy.  He is as angry with himself as he is with all those who acted as they thought the king wanted.  In his sorrow, he asks why he is still alive. God’s answer is to continue to work with David on forgiveness for the rest of his life. 

We are all human, and we struggle to accept that what has been done in the past doesn’t have to dictate our futures.  How do we live into a new way that is not ruled by the wrongs which can embitter us and stunt our physical, emotional, and spiritual growth?  Jesus shows us the love of God our Father in order to overcome our doubts and shortcomings.  When St. Paul speaks of the new life in his letter to the Ephesians, he is not setting some impossible standard of behaviour, but painting a picture of what living in Christ actually looks like as we practice forgiveness.  In the discipline of love, attitude guides our action. 

So what are the things we are practising?  Firstly, putting away falsehood and speaking truth to our neighbours.  In doing so, we stay connected honestly, even when we disagree.  And secondly, there is a reassurance that it is not a sin to be angry about something.  However, if anger simmers too long, it can turn into bitterness and resentment, and end up cutting us off from one another as the devil comes between us.  The admonishment to not let the sun go down on your anger is to not stew too long about what is troubling you.  Go back to number 1 and seek out the other person to speak the truth in love.  There’s a third thing: instead of taking what is not yours, labour and share what you hold with others so that no one is resentful.  Fourthly, if we are careful about what we say so that it builds up the other, we will have far fewer incidents of insult or hurt that fracture relationships. 

But above all, we are counselled not to grieve the Holy Spirit by thinking that forgiveness is beyond reach.  That can happen when we falsely believe that God can’t forgive us because we are not worthy.  We have been redeemed by Jesus’ death, marked for redemption.  Why would we break God’s heart by refusing this gift?  One of the teachings of the Desert Fathers of the early Church tells the following story:

Abba Miles was asked by a soldier whether God could forgive a sinner.  After instructing him at some length, the old man asked him, “tell me, my son, if your cloak was torn would you throw it away?”  “O no!” he replied, “I would mend it and wear it again.” The old man said to him, “Well, if you care for your cloak, will not God show mercy on His own creature?”

 Our daily life is a continued story of tearing and mending.  The goal is to strengthen our souls.  Every athlete knows that building strength involves the microscopic tearing and rebuilding of muscle fibres over time.  The body becomes stronger through the work, able to withstand more testing and go longer, and further, and higher than before.  Now, a few Christians are called to be hermits- to live alone and grow more deeply faithful in solitude.  But most of us have to interact with others.  We rub along and mostly against each other, which is an irritating process.  There are many occasions for us to misunderstand, misspeak, and miscalculate.  In doing so, we grieve God and hurt others.  Thanks be to God that when we do, there is room for forgiveness.  God is good at it; we are not so much.  But every day there are opportunities to practice and get better.

There will be times when we try and fail.  God understands and loves us all the same.  And God offers us second, and third, and more chances.  After all, forgiveness is not a single Olympic event.  It is the work of a lifetime, made possible by the God who loves us first and no matter what.  Christ already has the gold medal in forgiveness in his death on the cross, carrying our sins heavenward for God’s forgiveness.  As we imitate Christ, we follow his course.  Lord, forgive us our sins, as we continue to learn how to forgive others.  Amen.